Fancy This?

Tonight, I ran. My mind cried out for help and my body responded in the best way that it could.

This run was different from any other run I’ve been on. I didn’t plan it, like I usually do. I didn’t pencil it into my evening schedule, or pick out a playlist, or map a route. I returned home from work, quickly changed, laced up my shoes, and walked right back out the door. Rather than my typical upbeat songs, I opted for something mellow and meaningful. I didn’t stretch, I didn’t warm up, and I didn’t know where I was headed or how far I wanted to go. I simply allowed my legs to move.

My strides were significantly shorter and quicker than usual. I didn’t need to be anywhere fast. Tonight, this run wasn’t serving as a workout. I ran in search of a feeling. I observed everything I passed- the smiles of children playing, the ugly grayness of the buildings, the filth being ejected from vehicles, the whimsy of the park. I looked at people’s faces as they drove past me in their cars. Who were they? Where were they going? Are they as sad and downtrodden as their faces make them out to be?

I turned a corner and ran into the blazing sunset, feeling its faint warmth on my face. Every nerve within me was now roused as my feet pounded the pavement. My lungs rhythmically released foggy puffs into the brisk February air.

Much like a smooth slab of marble, my various thoughts moved together without actually blending, creating beautiful swirls of coexisting ideas. My mind was active and full to the brim, and my body began to sync with my brain. Every muscle within me was warm in spite of the cold air. Pain and fatigue did not exist this evening. All that my body contained was a steady flow of energy- not too much, not too little- the perfect amount to get me where I needed to go.

And I got there. It was peace, it was euphoria, and it was an understanding. The feeling has long since passed, but the memory is enough to keep me going, for the time being.